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Our Favorite Do's and Don'ts to Writing Your Own Vows!

Regardless of if you are having an extravagant gathering with all of your friends and family or a small intimate elopement, If you are deciding to write your own vows you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed. Below we are listing some of our favorite do’s and don’ts to help you through the process.


DO be open to taking notes. If you start a list when you get engaged of all the things your partner does that makes you feel special, safe, loved and all of the things that you enjoy most about them, it will be a great resource for when you actually sit down to start the vow writing process.

DO have a conversation with your partner prior to starting the writing process. It is important that you both agree in advance on approximately how long you will want your vows to be, if you want to use personal details or humor, what format you want to follow such as if you would like to include promises, and if you want to include religious or faith-based statements.

DO practice, practice, practice. You do not need to have your vows memorized and we would also recommend having at least an outline written out just in case you get overwhelmed with emotion. Practicing what you are going to say in advance will help you feel more comfortable and prepared.

DO keep a copy of your vows to look back on. After the big day, keep the notebook you wrote your vows in, have them printed in artwork, or frame them to remember the special moment.


DON’T wait until the last minute to write your vows because you think it will be easy. Even if you are great at expressing your feelings, you will have so many things to do the week of your wedding and it will take one more thing off of your plate if you write these in advance.

DON’T compare your vows to your partner’s or feel that there needs to be a “winner”.

DON’T use google or movie vows if you are aiming to be deeply personal. Using memories, inside stories, and details that are uniquely you will make the moment so much more special.

DON’T overthink it. If you get stuck, make a list of the things you love most about your partner, Think about the future that you want with them, and let that guide your vows.

Of course, writing your own vows is not for everyone. Some people choose to have smaller repeated vows during the ceremony and have more personalized ones with just their partner and others choose to skip this part altogether and go straight into the “I DOs.” There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to how you decide to approach this part of your ceremony. Do what feels the most comfortable for you and your partner.

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